A Guide to Dealing with Misogyny in Women’s Football

Women’s football is growing fast, bigger crowds, more coverage, better investment. But misogyny hasn’t disappeared. If anything, it’s got louder and far more comfortable. It still shows up in “banter,” in lazy opinions and in everyday interactions that undermine the sport. If you’re a woman involved in football, you’ve probably experinced it. So here’s my personal guide on how to deal with it and to make this slightly easier to get through, I’ve scattered a few reaction memes throughout, because sometimes, if you don’t laugh, you’ll just cry.

I've been on the receiving end of this misogyny more times than I can count. I’ve been in a pub, wearing my club’s kit, and suddenly found myself at the centre of a quiz about my own team. Not in a fun, “we all love football here” way, but in that testing way. Like I had something to prove just for being there. I’ve been asked if I’m wearing my boyfriend’s shirt. For the record, I’m a lesbian and even if I wasn’t, it’s still my shirt. My club. My game. And then there are the moments that are harder to laugh off. Like being told (by my old boss) that women’s football would get better numbers “if they played in bikinis or topless.” Comments like that don’t just undermine the sport, they reduce it completely.

So how do you deal with it? The first step is recognising it for what it is. Not all misogyny is loud or aggressive. Sometimes it’s subtle, sometimes it’s disguised as humour, sometimes it’s framed as a question. But if the tone is dismissive, if you’re being tested in a way others aren’t or if the sport is being reduced to something trivial; that’s not neutral. The sooner you stop brushing it off, the easier it is to handle.

The second step is control. You don’t need to react instantly. In fact, it’s better if you don’t. Taking a moment puts you in charge of the situation instead of the other person. One of the simplest and most effective responses is to make people sit in what they’ve said. When that comment about bikinis was made, I didn’t argue. I just said, “Sorry, can you repeat that?” It works because it forces ownership. What was meant to be a throwaway line suddenly has to be said again, clearly. And when you hold eye contact and stay calm, the discomfort shifts. Not onto you but onto them. Most people hear it properly the second time and start to backtrack.

Then, let the silence sit. Don’t rush to fill it. Let them explain themselves, or not. Silence makes the moment land without you having to push it. The same applies when you’re being tested with the usual “name three players” or “do you even watch it?” It’s easy to feel like you have to prove yourself, but that’s the trap. Those questions aren’t asked in good faith, they’re asked to test you, not to understand you. I can name Shaw, Russo and Kerr without thinking. I can recall the entirety of the Arsenal Women’s squad and probably the men’s line-up from last weekend.

But the point is, I shouldn’t have to. You don’t owe anyone a performance of your knowledge just to be taken seriously. And most of the time, the strongest response is not engaging at all. Not every comment deserves your energy, and not every person deserves your time. If someone doesn’t rate women’s football, that’s their choice. But if they’re not interested in accessible, high-level football, that says more about them than it does about the sport.

Which brings you to the most important step: decide who is worth your time. Some people are just uninformed. They haven’t watched it properly, they’ve picked up opinions and they might actually be open to changing their mind. Those conversations are worth having. Others aren’t. They’re not listening, they’re not curious, and they’re not interested in engaging properly. That’s where you draw the line, you don’t need to argue with everyone. You don’t need to educate everyone and you definitely don’t need to prove yourself to someone who has already decided not to respect it. Walking away isn’t losing. It’s choosing better.

Finally, back yourself. If you know the game, you know the game. Supporting women’s football doesn’t make you any less of a football fan, it usually means the opposite. The idea that you have to justify your place in the conversation is outdated. This isn’t about winning arguments. It’s about knowing your place in the game and refusing to let anyone question it. Because it was never theirs to give you in the first place.